Category: Life Lessons

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2019 Goals

Most of my goals were abandoned in the summer of 2018 as we went through surgeries and health challenges with two of our kids. Once everyone recovered, my girls and I wore swimsuit bottoms instead of underwear for a full week; the laundry piles languished while we played catch-up and raced to and from jobs and activities. It’s Christmas break here for the rest of the week, and I’m finally reading the notes from our kids’ teachers that were sent home months ago. We are fighting to come out of what we call “First World Survival Mode” (because if I’m writing a blog post right now, this isn’t real survival mode), but yesterday we abandoned it all to spend the evening with our friends to welcome 2019. I have no regrets about that.

I did check a major item off my to do list this fall: I started an amateur photography business and, you know, put myself out there. As an introvert (any fellow INTJ females out there?), I find it difficult to declare a skillset to the general public and to set myself up for evaluation. But after over a decade of working in photography and undergoing frequent/ongoing training (and having a portrait photographer in my immediate family), I decided to go for it, and I’m glad I did.

So while I carefully thought out all of my goals and divided them into 90 day increments previously, I haven’t accomplished that on this first day of 2019. I could start listing out all the usuals: decluttering, eating healthier, getting more sleep (hahaha). But I’m nowhere near that frame of mind yet, if I’m being honest. I want three things in the next 90 days:

  • More quality time with my family.
  • Less of a quest for perfection.
  • Clean laundry (perfection is allowed, although totally not expected there).

I’m also allowing myself to pick up all of my good intentions and run with them. I forgot to send a thank you note? Sending it now. Intended to bring friends baked goods for the holidays? Doing it now. Never filled out the volunteer form at church and have neglected to give to my friend’s charity? No time like the present.

I want to head into 2020 knowing that I gave my best efforts and that I cared for my people well. Maybe I’ll declutter along the way, and maybe I won’t, but I’ll try to at least make sure we all have clean underwear.

  • One of my favorite subjects.

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36 Things I’ve Learned in 36 Years

A few weeks ago, I turned 36 and began to jot down things I’ve learned so far in my lifetime. Here’s my completed list:

1. The Office and Frasier reruns will never get old.

2. If you are waiting in line, give the person in front of you space to do their thing. Just let me finish emptying my cart, guy breathing down my neck behind me.

3. Don’t tell anyone on social media that you will unfollow them because of something they’ve posted. Go ahead and unfollow, but recognize they have the power to post what they choose on their platform. You are not guardian of the inter webs.

4. If you are a parent, someone will disagree with your parenting style. It’s fine. If your children are cared for, consider another’s point of view and do what seems right.

5. Never, ever assume a woman is pregnant unless she tells you so in no uncertain terms, or if you are in the delivery room with her.

6. Your kids won’t love crap like Caillou if you never show them Caillou.

7. If you live alone, rejoice in the fact that you wield the power of thermostat control. (I miss you, glorious, quiet, warm semester of college).

8. Don’t watch the news. Read news from a variety of sources, from your partisan heroes to your nemeses, and think critically before you agree with either.

9. Travel as much as possible. Experiences are worth at least twice as much as stuff. (But I’m currently selling stuff, so it’s okay to buy that).

10. Don’t cut someone out of your life arbitrarily. Maybe they’ve been distant because they are dealing with their own baggage. There’s a lot to be appreciated about a friend who doesn’t expect constant contact but is there for you when you ask.

11. Speaking of asking, admit when you need help. There’s no shame in that, and people can’t read your mind and know what you require.

12. Food is best when you approach it without heavy expectation. That can be said of many things, actually. Expect nothing, appreciate everything.

13. Murphy’s Law is real. I’m Murphy. It’s fine.

14. Husbands can’t be trusted unattended in store electronics sections.

15. Cuddling babies is the best. If you don’t have one, volunteer to help in a church nursery or daycare or something. That isn’t creepy advice at all.

16. Get a library membership and read all the things. And if you’re kind of a germaphobe like me, spray all the things with Lysol before you read.

17. Go to concerts. They produce memories you won’t soon forget.

18. My Granny, who is 88, always tells me she would rather wear out than rust out. She is always working on something, from cooking and making jelly to tending her garden and selling her produce. But she also stops everything and sits to talk with me when I visit, and always has. Work hard, but take time for your people.

19. Always consider how someone else might feel. Always.

20. Be kind, especially to anyone and everyone in the medical field. You could not pay me enough to do their jobs. (Also, could one of you check out this weird mole? Just kidding. I don’t have any weird moles).

21. Kids can always help with the laundry. This is easy for me, though, because it looks like a kid processed the clothes when I’m finished, too. #cantironwontiron #whatfittedsheet

22. Dad always tells me not to borrow trouble. I’m trying not to take out too many fear loans. The interest rates really suck.

23. Speaking of interest rates: credit cards are the worst.

24. I’m an idealist, which sometimes makes for a painful existence. “This is going to be just like this, and I’m excited!” I think, picturing a perfect scene. And it is rarely like that and why was I excited?

25. We’re always waiting on the next thing. It’s easier said than done, appreciating the here and now for whatever it is worth. But it seems worthy of a good college try.

26. Set 90 day goals. If you succeed, it didn’t take long and it’s super rewarding. If you fail, try it again for another 90 days, because that really isn’t very long!

27. You don’t have to be the same person you were five years ago. You’re allowed to grow and change.

28. Pepperoni is disgusting.

29. Fear is the worst tour guide.

30. Write thank you notes. No one has time for them; do it anyway. Do it even if you think it is far too late to ever send them. The receiver likely didn’t owe you anything and decided to bestow kindness on you, so return the favor in a small way.

31. I grew up with conservative Christian parents who always recycled (which, I’ve found, is incredulous to some). Our nearest recycling center is 25 miles away and trash pickup does not grab bottles and cans from the blue bin at our curbs. We separate items and haul everything to the center ourselves, because it is prudent. Stewardship of our resources shouldn’t be taken lightly.

32. Assume the best of others. Unless they are left lane drivers, and then you already know everything you’ll ever need to know, don’t you?

33. Buy flowers, especially in winter. Aldi roses help pull me through Midwestern weather weirdness.

34. Make your own family traditions. My extended family has always had fun customs. As my own little family grows, we’ve adopted fun things like cinnamon roll Saturdays and family movie night. It’s something simple to strengthen a bond.

35. Gummy candy is a food group.

36. There is always hope.

Tell me a few items that make your own list!

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The Best Party Ever

When Pinterest was the new thing and I was on Mission Pin-All-The-Things, one of my first boards was dedicated to planning my middle daughter’s first birthday party. The decor, the invitations, the custom pillowcase dress (because 2014), the food, the cake, the favors – I had it all pinned and ready to duplicate.Even in those archaic pre-Pinterest days with my firstborn in 2011, I plotted my girl’s shindig for weeks. When my vision came to life, my mom walked in the room and said, “Wow. I had no idea you were doing this much.”

The adorable owl cake my mother-in-law made for my first born’s first birthday. I made tons of decorations by hand for this one.

Owl cupcakes. These took forever and it really bugged me at the time that the Oreos split messily. Sweet baby type A me of the past.

And so I strove for extravagant for every party I ever planned for my children for years, and also for an anniversary party for my parents. I did all the baking and made the decorations. I put together activities like face painting, made veggie trays that resembled Sesame Street characters, and designed and printed t-shirts. This was no literal circus in our backyard or one of those toddler celebrations that ran a $10k bill, mind you, but still, it was more work than the parties we were throwing and attending back in my day.

Wearing football bows to their brother’s party and having faces painted.

You can’t see it well in that picture, but that’s a homemade goal post the football balloon is flying through.

This was the beginning of the end of the Pinterest parties. My third and final child was turning one. I recall being disappointed that our food selection ONLY included fruit, veggies, cheese and crackers, brownies, and cake, and for mid-afternoon. The nerve I had, starving my guests like that. My friends actually finished decorating for me because exhaustion and three kids. And also, good friends.

And while it stressed me out and I was always scrambling to finish it all at the last minute (often having pulled an all-nighter before the party) I loved it.

Probably the most complicated cake I’ve made, so much so that when I finally finished Max & Ruby, I just hurriedly piped on a border and ran to the car with it, because I had just pulled an all-nighter and it was almost time for the party. And of course, I also made homemade cupcakes and sugar cookies.

But last fall, we found ourselves in the midst of a particularly chaotic time. I knew I did not have time to plot my typical elaborate party, and it bugged me.I fretted over what to do for a few weeks. Then I sent out a message clearing a date, and we got together with just a few friends at a local hotel. We ordered pizza and let the kids play in the pool after they downed their grocery store cupcakes and juice boxes. Then our family spent the night at the hotel.It was an absolute blast, and I was well-rested and able to enjoy it.

We checked into our hotel, and this girl and I went to store across the street to purchase cupcakes from the bakery and a few party supplies, including the pictured toppers on her cupcake. We set up right in front of the aquarium because it was a Moana party. And we ordered Casey’s pizza because we’re good Midwesterners like that.

Another bonus: I didn’t find a need to wrestle a balloon bouquet into my car.

From one of those times I did wrestle a balloon bouquet.

This spring, we found ourselves in a similar situation for the middle’s celebration. During her March birthday, my husband and I were working around the clock. April was spent navigating health concerns for said daughter, and suddenly it was May and we still hadn’t really celebrated our sweet girl’s fifth birthday.So again, I messaged our friends and told them we would meet at my home for lunch after church and the kids could play in the hot tub if they wanted.

Simple party fare: grilled burgers and fruit. I had planned a fruit salad. Nope, fruit in a bowl. Good enough, folks. Everyone was just pleased we had slices of avocado anyhow. (But don’t blame me for the onion touching the avocado – my husband is the barbarian who did that).

My daughter’s one request for her day was a mermaid tail cake. The party was so last-minute that I didn’t have a chance to order a cake from our local baker extraordinaire, so the task was left to me.I spent far too long molding and dying fondant, only to realize my cake was going to be a massive fail. I was about to pitch it in the trash and drive to the Walmart bakery, but I decided to keep trying. When my daughter saw the finished product, she simply whispered, “Wow.”

Not only did the kids know the cake was a mermaid tail, they ate it. Hallelujah.

But aside from the homemade cake and a set of Ariel paper plates, there was nothing really defining this party’s mermaid theme. I placed them on the blue plastic tablecloth I found in my party supply bin and shrugged. Then I remembered I had picked up some craft kits and pencils fitting the mermaid theme in Target’s Dollar Spot for favors, so I counted it as a win.

The happy birthday girl.

The birthday girl’s happy brother.

The kids downed hamburgers, chips, fruit and cake (it was apparently edible), then played in about every room of the house before hitting the hot tub. From there, they played on the swings, in the sandbox, and ran through the sprinklers to wash off the sand.They loved every minute, and so did I.It wasn’t exactly the picture-perfect party I strive for, one that I like to write about in family albums so my kids will have evidence we did actually try. It was better.I can’t quit the Pinterest parties altogether, but I know our future celebrations won’t be particularly extraordinary.Because as the wise Pam Beesly-Halpert said in the finale of “The Office,” “There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” 😉

 

This was actually one of my better ideas: daffodils as party favors for my sister’s wedding shower. I would totally do this again, I just would skip tying bows on every flower.

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I had technical difficulties creating toppers of my parents’ youthful faces for their 40th anniversary cupcakes. Worth it.

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Like Your Life: A Review

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I’ve been a fan of The Art of Simple, a website created by one of my favorite authors, Tsh Oxenreider, for many years. I had taken one of her courses previously, “The Essentials,”  which helped me begin to find order in my chaos. Last fall, she opened a new course called “Like Your Life.” It was billed as a class to help the user create a personalized blueprint for living their just-right, simplified life, with Tsh acting as a life coach.

I think I’ve known who I am since I was in high school, but not necessarily how I’ve wanted to spend my days. As my best friend’s favorite author Annie Dillard said, “How we spend our days, is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And when I thought about it, I wasn’t sure I was spending my life as I had always intended.

So I looked into the course, and decided immediately that in my broke girl state, I could not afford it. But as I continued to receive emails about the course, I felt a nagging feeling I really should sign up. I went for it, even adding the coordinating Facebook group.

I did not regret it.

I had my journaling workbook printed and bound (but in black and white because I’m cheap), and I will keep that thing forever. It is my blueprint on how I want to live, and I don’t want to forget.

The course work is in the form of self-paced modules, with five total parts and several small sections in each part. The Facebook group featured weekly office hours with the author herself in which we dialogued with fellow class participants and asked Tsh questions.

In part one, we began assessing what was important to us by writing about what our best day might look like and what we found beautiful, for example, culminating in crafting a personal statement. We then assessed our individual purposes, discussed living holistically, and learned how to say no to the wrong things and yes to the right things in our lives. One of my favorite sections is very pertinent for this time of year: setting good goals. (Look for an upcoming post soon with more about my upcoming goals, and about what I’ve accomplished goal-wise since Like Your Life). The questions in each section were thought-provoking, challenging, and immensely helpful in our journey.

My favorite part was actually the weekly office hours, which I did not expect. Tsh acted as a life coach, and as she spoke, I scribbled down pages of notes. My biggest lightbulb moment came when she spoke about the philosophy of living with less, something in which she is an expert, and she said, “I didn’t want to be a stuff manager.”

I don’t either, and yet, here I am. THAT is how I’ve been spending my days, going to bed exhausted but feeling I’ve only been spinning my wheels. Not spending quality time with my children, despite often being home with them, and schlepping their stuff around instead.

When I completed the course, I had a plan set in motion for how I wanted to tackle the problem areas currently holding me back (starting with eliminating the stuff). I felt as though I had been reminded of parts of me that I had let vanish when I took on the role of motherhood, parts I had missed but hadn’t really realized. I decided to embark on a new career path as soon as I accomplish my other goals, and perhaps most importantly, I realized how my self-doubt has derailed so many other projects I have attempted.

Another huge perk is the Facebook group I joined remained open, so I could continue conversations with my classmates as we went about our own journeys. The course also has lifetime access, so I have returned to some of the lectures for inspiration.

I also should note, the course isn’t cheesy. Although I feel a bit as though I embrace cheese more the older I grow (I’m thinking of that line from “The Holiday,” where Kate Winslet says, “I’m looking for corny in my life,”) I get that not a lot of people have my tolerance level. Fear not; you don’t have to tell anyone you’re good enough or smart enough or well-liked.

In short, I couldn’t recommend it more. If you’d like to sign up, check out my link here: https://heckyes.me/ref/ringojster/

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It’s Okay To Feel How You Feel

Life will be good again.

But right now, maybe it doesn’t feel like it.

I once was despairing. I had been through years of health issues, fertility treatments, and frustration with my lot in life. I came home from work every day and cried. I drove to my doctor’s office and cried. I had consistently bad news from my doctor and cried harder on the long drive home. I was drained and life didn’t look like it would improve any time soon.

One night, I chatted with my high school friend Sadie, whom I had not seen in at least a decade but had kept up with online. I opened up to her a bit, which was huge for me because I had spoken to almost no one about my current struggles. She gave no unsolicited advice others had offered (“Have you considered adoption?” “I think you should just give up and then you will get pregnant.”) Instead, she told me she thought what I was going through must be terrible, and she listened. But I will never forget Sadie’s words to me:

“It’s okay to feel how you feel.”

Her words were a balm to my aching soul. I was angry, but I had never admitted I was angry. When I had tried to speak to my friends about my struggles, I felt guilty and as though I was burdening them. They were uncomfortable, not having any idea what to tell me and not wanting to say the wrong thing. I had wanted to be heard but not to feel more awkward, so I stuffed away my emotions and my anger grew.

Life went on and my struggles continued, but for the first time I gave myself permission to mourn my losses and to admit how I was feeling. I wanted children, I wanted a job I was passionate about, and I wanted peace and order and a place that felt like home. None of those things were happening despite my best efforts, and it was impacting my entire life. To pretend it wasn’t happening wasn’t helping anyone. I was adding stress upon stress upon stress and the cork was about to pop.

During that time, I wrote this: “I got a call this week that another friend is pregnant, and everyone is rejoicing. Truthfully, I just feel like someone jumped in line in front of me again. Another friend started trying to conceive after me, already has two children, and is finished. In the scheme of things, I know it doesn’t matter. But it hurts, and I’m sick of acting like it doesn’t.”

Sadie told me my admission didn’t make me a bitter person, it just made me a person. “Sometimes things just suck and no amount of rainbows and sunshine change that,” she said.

And so, I gave myself permission to be frustrated when I was frustrated.

I understood how to be happy when I was happy.

I learned it was okay to tell God I was angry with Him, that I didn’t understand the plan, and that I was fed up with hearing there was a plan. And I learned it wasn’t showing a lack of faith to admit something felt wrong in my life.

If you know someone who is struggling, you don’t have to try to solve their problem. Listen, and give them permission to accept their emotions.

Because it is okay to feel how you feel.

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Are Meal Delivery Services Worth It?

If you had asked me a few months ago if my family ever ate fish, or sweet potatoes, or even roasted veggies with any type of consistency or enthusiasm, I would have laughed.

My kids would choose macaroni and cheese for every meal if allowed, and my husband, Matt, would eat steak or pork. I am Team Pasta and Dairy. We do consume a large quantity of fruit and chicken, but while the other members of my household adore carrots and eat bags and bags of them weekly (weirdos), we admittedly don’t add many veggies into our diet.

So when a friend asked me if I wanted to try Hello Fresh, I hesitated. What would be the point, really, if we just trashed the meals? There was no way anyone under my roof would consume anything in the sample menu plan I perused.

Nevertheless, I had another friend who raved about her meal subscription services and I was intrigued, so I bit. (Literally! Haha!)

The first box arrived on the doorstep filled with ingredients for three meals, everything divided out and labeled so we knew what to grab when it was time to cook, and recipe cards were included. We began to prep for our first meal: pistachio-crusted chicken with quinoa and chopped cucumber–jalapeno salad. The only thing in that recipe title I knew my crew would eat was chicken, and with a pistachio coating, I wasn’t sure that would even fly (not literally).

I love the packaging and how easy it is to find everything you need!

I followed the step-by-step directions and was surprised at not only how quickly I threw dinner together, but also at the generous portion sizes. I was simultaneously making a pot of mac and cheese for my kids, but we had enough of the chicken and quinoa dinner for everyone.


And, shock of all shocks, every last one of us loved the meal (although I’m anti-jalapeno, so we omitted that ingredient for everyone but Matt). Last week, my daughter asked me if I could make that chicken again, which we tried three months ago.

My son likes to watch me chop tomatillos and squash. I don’t typically consume tomatillos and squash. Who knew such a thing was edible?

And so we continued to subscribe to Hello Fresh and also Blue Apron, skipping weeks when they didn’t suit us for whatever reason. Here’s why we’ve loved the boxes:

1. We were in a major food rut, and it wasn’t always a healthy one. Now, instead of plain old taco Tuesday, we have sesame beef tacos with quick-pickled veggies and spicy crema. Instead of tired steak and fries, we have steak with a mint chive dressing and veggie succotash. It’s like I’ve stepped into an episode of Chopped with some of these titles! We’re cooking with mirin and sesame oil and sweet potatoes and tomatillos, jasmine rice and polenta, and it is delicious.

2. Speaking of health, we are eating better in every way. My husband came home from the store today with a haul of veggies, fruit, couscous, quinoa, farro, fresh herbs, and fish (our kids NEVER ate fish before we tried this – and now we eat it at least once per week and love it). Although udon noodles may be my favorite thing discovered so far and I don’t know if they are super healthy or not.

3. As aforementioned, portion sizes are generous. They are meant for two people, but we usually have enough to feed our crew of four (the baby isn’t into these deliveries just yet). We sometimes stock extra protein to cook just to be sure we have enough for everyone, but that is the only way we have leftovers.

4. I hate meal planning. I hate plotting what to make, what ingredients I need, shopping for ingredients with three kids along for the ride, the entire thing. Meal planning for half of my week (we already have a “fend for yourself” or breakfast for dinner night once per week) is done by opening an app, choosing what looks best, and clicking it. Done-zo.

5. This one was really unexpected: we have saved money. We were eating at restaurants maybe twice per month, and have instead allocated that money to our subscription boxes. Our store trips are much less frequent because again, half of our dinners for the week are already planned for us, and now our purchases are much more streamlined. We have saved all of the recipe cards for meals we have liked and we buy the ingredients we need to recreate them. Because meal planning is now much simpler and fresher, we aren’t making mindless trips for fast food at the last minute or buying filler foods to snack on while we try to figure out what to eat.

6. We are cooking meals together and doing so quickly. Everything has been carefully planned and prepped for us, which saves a lot of time. Who doesn’t want more family time in their busy lives?

7. It’s easy to skip meals using the apps or to cancel altogether. And if I forget? The only downside is that I’ve spent money I didn’t plan on spending. I still receive food!

I’m still actually kind of shocked at how much I have appreciated these services. I didn’t expect for cod with a peach and corn salsa from a delivery box to be one of my favorite meals of the summer – especially considering we had fresh fish and seafood at the beach! – but it was!

Have you tried delivery services such as these? What did you think?

While this is not a sponsored post, I will link you to my referral code for Hello Fresh. It will give you a discount on your first box (under $20 for three meals for two!)

To try Hello Fresh: https://www.hellofresh.com/?c=RINGOJ&utm_source=raf-share&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=clipboard

Happy eating!

 

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Time You Enjoy Wasting Isn’t Wasted Time

I’ve been silent here for a while, because silence is what I’ve needed.

January has been noisy.

Between the opinion overload on social media as of late and my three kids aged six and under (one who woke three hours earlier than usual today and is a clingy, nap-refusing bear), I’m a bit touched out, both physically and mentally.

It was time for some comfort food, although I may have heated the coffee under all that foam a few times before I actually drank it. Also, soup and coffee totally go together.

I’ve added to the havoc through a paper elimination spree at my home. But this rid-of-all-the-things journey I’m on unearthed an old high school journal, filled with lists of things I love. A sampling from that journal, written by eighteen-year-old me:

Things I Love

  • Year-round Christmas lights
  • Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra
  • Rainy, gloomy days, and a good book
  • Flowers
  • Noodles (with or without schnitzel, thank you Julie Andrews)
  • Frozen custard
  • Harry Potter
  • Chicken salad
  • Doodling
  • Baking
  • Star-gazing
  • Van Gogh
  • Audrey Hepburn

It’s a simple list, but it reminded me that eighteen-year-old Amanda really enjoyed some living. I read and wrote often. I bought grocery store flowers and featured them in my dorm room windows. I played music more than I watched tv or obsessed over the news. I doodled in the margins of my notebooks.  On weekend trips home, I baked sweet treats and ate carbs without guilt. I went outside with my Dad to look at the stars with a constellation finder my eighth-grade science teacher helped me construct. And most of all, I enjoyed wasting time.

Life was undoubtedly simpler then. But while I have some obligations this weekend that can’t be ignored, I’m inspired to shift my focus to some of these more enjoyable, quieter pursuits – some that could be filed into the category of time wasters. Because after all, time you enjoy wasting isn’t wasted time.

I love planners and journals and doodles and lists. Bullet journaling, here I come.

Happy weekend, everyone! I’ve already plugged in the Christmas lights strung around my windows. Pardon me while I blast some Ol’ Blue Eyes and knead some homemade noodles.

 

 

 

 

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Graceful Floundering

Lest you think I have it all together, here’s a description of the first 30 minutes of my morning.

I should first note it was the first day back to school for both my eldest and my teacher husband following the holiday break, and none of us were exactly looking forward to it after a few weeks of enjoying our own schedule.

  • The baby woke to eat before my alarm went off. I wrestled him back to sleep, then woke the cranky school child.
  • As I packed a lunch, the middle child woke up, screaming.
  • The screaming woke the baby.
  • The husband used the last of the milk, which didn’t make the cereal-loving screamer any happier.
  • The school people rushed off to school, leaving the packed lunch on the bar.
  • The meat for the sandwich I was making was still in the microwave anyway.
  • The baby immediately had not one, but two diaper blowouts requiring two outfit changes.
  • The 53,000 unread emails in my account rendered it too full to operate.
  • I checked my bank account, only to learn an automatic payment was processed twice by the company, over drafting my account for just the second time in my life.
  • I started the washing machine – again, as I started the same load yesterday and then forgot it – only to find the one box of non-liquid detergent I own had fallen from the shelf and coated the floor.

All of this happened before daylight.

None of this is earth-shattering or even really anything that will set the tone of my day. I’m fine, I’ve laughed it all off, and forward I will march.

But as a new year begins and we inevitably take assessment of our lives and set goals, my chaotic morning reminds me I know one thing about myself: I will flounder.

I will have noble aspirations and idealized plots, and they will often fail. I will try to be poised, and I will be a klutz instead. I will start with a clean slate only to quickly muddle it. I will vow to be early and I will be late, every single time, because I’ve finally accepted it is who I am (and not because I’m some jerk who values my time over the time of others – I hate that assessment – but because I try to cram too much into a pocket of time and don’t realize it until it’s too late). Much of what I will try to change will be out of my control anyway.

So while I make my to-do list for the day and my goals list for the year, I’ll still set my sights high. But when things inevitably don’t go as planned, I’ll give myself grace and forge along as I learn from my mistakes.

And then someday, maybe I’ll have an empty inbox and a full bank account.

(Probably not, but it’s worth a try).